A Summer to Remember: Critique Draft

I could feel the scorching sun on my skin as I walked down the sandy sidewalk. Today was July 4^th to be precise and Ala Moana beach was packed with hundreds of people enjoying the cool blue water. The mouthwatering aroma of barbeque filled the air and families were indulging in all the food. Instead of swimming or socializing like everyone else, I continued listening to the sound of my music. I was still angry with my mom about not being able to go out with my friends. It wasn’t fair how little freedom I had compared to all the other juvenile delinquents out there. With that thought I continued to walk by with my music blasted loud enough for the person next to me to hear. I noticed every once in a while strangers greeted me with a friendly smile or a simple hello, but I wasn’t in the mood to react back. Before I knew it I had already circled the entire beach. At that point I started to walk back to the tent where all my family and friends were. As I approached our tent, I recognized a familiar face that I haven’t seen in a while. To my surprise, it was him.

The last time I saw him was the summer of 2009 and after that I’ve never really talked to him. At first, I didn’t think he recognized me but then we started to talk. I took a stroll around the beach again with him and his cousins. We spent most of the day talking about our lives, our friends, and our family. I learned so much about him and saw that we had a lot in common. When I was talking to him, it felt like I knew him my whole life and it just seemed unreal how comfortable I felt towards him. The day was almost ending and I watched as the sun began to set on the horizon. After gazing at the beautiful display of fireworks, everyone began to pack up and go home. As I was leaving, I remembered that I never even had the chance to say goodbye to him. I looked around to realize he had already left. Even though I was not able to say goodbye, I had a feeling that I was going to hear from him pretty soon.

My instincts were right, because the next day I received a text from him. I had completely forgot that I gave his brother my number so that we could still keep in contact. His brother must have given him my number. A day or so passed when he finally confessed that liked me and I was ecstatic to hear that he felt the same way I did. After that, he and I began talking more and more frequently. Everything was going good until we ran into two problems. For one, summer was about to end in a week and two I’m not allowed to date until my junior year. Usually, the dating part was no problem because I would end up doing it anyways. It just becomes difficult hiding it from my mom. In my past relationships, it never really worked out because we wouldn’t be able to go out to places or do anything without getting caught. I had a feeling that if I wanted this time to work out then I would have to tell my mom about him. To me, this was a big step up because I have never opened up to my mom before. He was the only guy that made me realized that if I ever want things to work out then I would need to stop keeping things from my mom.

I was still sour with my mom two weeks prior but I finally built up the nerve to talk to her. My hands were trembling as I stood outside her bedroom door. My stomach felt twisted and I started having second thoughts. I didn’t realize it was going to be this hard. My brain kept yelling at me to stop being such a baby and knock already. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and banged my hand on the door. I came in and told her that we needed to talk. As I sat down on the bed, I could feel my heart pounding hard. But to my surprise, she took it quite well. There wasn’t that much arguing like how it normally is. Before, I’ve always had the urge to say some smart remark and that would just make it worst. This time, I actually took my time to listen to her and for once I didn’t feel the need to talk back. She told me about how she had lost her mom when she was very little and how she’d wished that she had a mom to talk to about these kinds of problems. Listening to my mom talk about her struggles as a kid growing up, it made me realize why she is that way she is. It isn’t to ruin my life or keep me from doing things, its to protect me from what she knows might lie ahead. She explained to me why I wasn’t able to do the things that most kids can do and that is because she is teaching me about moral values and how all my privileges must be earned and not taken for granted. It made me more grateful to have a mom to watch after me the way she has for the last 15 years. I didn’t realize how much trouble I’ve caused her with all my lies and secrets until that day. Neither one of us left the room that night without puffy red eyes.

The morning after the conversation with my mom, I called him up to tell him about it. I told him that I made a compromise last night with my mom about the whole dating issue. Everything that my mom and I talked about finally sunk into my head and I have learned from the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I was glad that he forced me into talking to my mom and his assurance helped me through it all. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to empathize my mom or had any clue about why she was so hard on me. Despite not being able to go out with him until next year, I think that was a smart decision to make. After all, summer doesn’t last forever but the memories and experiences are the ones I will definitely remember eternally.